Thinking of our child over Christmas

Seasons Greetings to you all!

With the Christmas season in full swing, I have been a little emotional. I think it is time to share with everyone how we came to the decision to start the adoption process…

During the summer of 2010, Mark and I decided it was time to start a family and began trying to conceive. “Baby fever” hit us unexpectedly, especially since the “original” plan was to wait until after I had finished graduate school and secured a career. But plans and feelings changed! Adoption was always something we wanted to pursue, but we thought it would be something we would do after having a biological child first. As the months went on, we became discouraged that we were not conceiving as quickly as we were hoping. We were not too alarmed as we both understand that it can take some time, but fertility issues were always at the back of our minds especially since it took my parents 5 years to conceive me. When Christmas 2010 rolled along, we thought (and hoped and prayed) that by Christmas 2011 we would have a child to celebrate the season with, or at the very least be expecting.

Once a year had passed (the amount of time my family doctor told us we would have to try naturally before refering us to fertility specialists), we were faced with the decision of whether to pursue fertility testing/treatments. Fertility treatments can be expensive, and adoption was always something we were very passionate about, so we decided to worry about fertility later and focus on growing our family through adoption first. We have felt various emotions through this decision; while we often feel confused and worried about why we haven’t been able to conceive as quickly as others, we more often feel happiness and joy at the prospect of being able to provide a child with a loving home and growing our family!

Along with these emotions comes times of sadness. In a previous post, I mentioned wanting to experience similar “expectant mother” phases as I would if I were pregnant. Especially during this Christmas season, the adoption process has been heavy on my mind. I have “nesting” urges, yet it is difficult to prepare for a child when not only the sex is unknown (although this matters less with an infant), but also do not know the age (since we have indicated that we would be open to adopting a child from infancy up to approximately 5 years old). We have so much love and joy to share with a child, and I have wanted to be able to express this through preparing for a child to enter our home. But how could I do this? I don’t know what kind of furniture to buy, clothes, toys, etc.?

Especially since we were hoping to have a child by this time, we can’t help but think about our future child as we prepare for Christmas. I was at Michaels buying some craft supplies the other day when I thought of two different ways I could show our child just how much we have been waiting and longing for him/her.

I originally went to Michaels for wooden cut-outs to make a picture ornament for 2010 (The first year we were married, we bought an ornament that was a picture frame and said “2009”; we used a wedding picture, and I wanted to make an annual tradition to frame a memorable picture each year for our tree. I forgot to buy one last year before they were sold out, so I am going to make one. We already bought our 2011 ornament frame and put in one of our “We’re adopting” pictures into it). I saw a “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament and really wanted to hang something on our tree for our future child.

I bought a wooden star and painted it yellow with acrylic paint.

Using these really cool paint pens, I wrote “Wishing For You” on the ornament.

It was easy just to hot glue some ribbon onto the back.

And onto the tree it goes.

It’s really simple, and I don’t have the best calligraphy… But it made me feel better to be able get our first ornament for our child.

I also wanted to do something for our child’s room, but didn’t know exactly what to do. We don’t want to decorate until we have a better idea about the age of the child, and then I saw wooden door hangers (like the door hangers you see in hotel rooms). I painted it with the same yellow acrylic paint.

Using decopauge, I used some scrapbook paper to add a pattern (you might recognize the pattern from my DIY coasters?).

Using more decopauge, I added “Waiting For You.”

While we can’t decorate the room and it is still considered the “guest room,” it is nice to be able to “nest.” The room – along with us – is waiting for the day when it will become a safe haven to our child.

Though I still have urges to pick out paint colours and buy toys and clothes, I know that is not realistic right now. But making these items really helped me and seeing them just reminds us that while we are waiting, our child could be out there right now waiting for us as well.

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